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I am trying to appreciate this for the beautiful art that it is. It truly graceful and stunning, like living sculpture. But the longer I keep looking at it, the more I keep thinking… “Where is his junk?”


Type Humaine

by PINCH Martin Tremblay

(Source:, via my-wanton-self)

I want my two dollars.

(Source: sweethoney3, via livinginhalfshadow)

This is happening.


Kneed coffee

this picture does things to my insides

Math is literally making me cry tonight.

Pre-Algebra to be specific. 12 is not getting it. I am not getting it.  After 10 emails back and forth with the teacher I still don’t get it and she is NOT HELPING either of us.

Why is this so fucking hard?!

Ummm…yes, please.


Horacio Casadey

(via emporioefikz)



Anyone who experiments or practices any form of kinky fuckery knows that sex bruises come with the territory. I know a lot of people wear them with pride, but I have never been a huge fan. I am very pale & slightly anemic, so even small bruises look horrendous on my skin.

This one however is different. It almost looks like a smattering of stars. And I like the way it mixes with my freckles.

Any guesses as to where it is?

UPDATE: Lots of guesses; some of you were very close. The bruises are on my bicep from being restrained. I’ll let your imaginations fill in the rest of that image.

Blowjobs are the best lip exfoliant.

I never want to remove my feet from this carpet. I may roll around naked on it.

What do you get your super awesome best friend for her birthday?

An epic birthday meme post!!

Happy Birthday lovelyandnaughty!!  I love you much, miss you terribly, and can’t wait to hug the crap out of you and that gorgeous face!

xoxo, Alice (woobie)


Mornin y’all! alice-the-red , did I get it right? Lots of cream?

Yummy morning.




I know that conflictedintrovert will scoff at the amount of cream, but I think this is sexy.


Coffee Animated GIF

alice-the-red I feel like you should admit you’re actually a coffee flavored cream addict. When I brew coffee I find that balance where you can taste notes across the whole of your palate, rather than a bitter acid hit to your tongue. Starbucks has ruined everyone’s expectation of a cup of coffee, I find most need a touch of filtered water to get them to a more appropriate water/coffee ratio. That much of the coffee your going to buy made for you is too strongly brewed to taste the subtle beauty of a balanced roast, doesn’t mean cream is what it needs be diluted with. Now all you’ll get is mouth feel from the fat the cream added and all the fun is hidden behind dairy sweetness. Don’t get be started on the flavored ultra-high temp pasteurized abominations known as coffee mate.

In the 2ish months I was on a paleo diet I swear you’d be amazed at what tastes sweet when you cut artificial and processed sweeteners out of your life. Bran tastes sweet with just milk. Blew my mind how far my taste buds had been pushed out of skew. 

I feel a few weeks of me brewing coffee for you and you’d be completely converted. You’d drink it black and you would wonder how you had ever wanted it any other way.

Nope! I’m going to add extra just to spite you. And make lots of slurps and yummy noises just to be petulant.